Don't leave.

Sweat glistening on your forehead,
Could barely breathe as you moved forward,
Had been waiting for this for such a long time,
Yet could not speak as your lips left mine,
I lay there in front of you, naked, bare,
Our eyes locked in an intense stare,
Our breathing in rhythm, our heartbeats too,
No one else mattered, it was just me and you.
Whispered that I couldn't imagine anything better,
I had never felt this way before, never,
I couldn't blink for the fear,
That everything would just disappear.

I pull you close and clench my eyes shut,
Holding on to as much as I could but,
When I opened my eyes, they were still wet,
From crying about the boy I had met,
Who spoke with confidence and passion,
Winning my heart in barely a second,
I should have listened to the little voice,
It said, it's not too late, you still have a choice,
Before you get in too deep, leave,
But I stayed and gave all I could give.

All it took you was one phone call,
Say a few words and end it all,
Loved everything, even the way you said my name,
But to you, it was nothing but a game.
Why, why did you leave me and go away?
I know I often went astray,
Sorry for all the things I say,
From now on it's all your way.

I crave you, to touch your skin,
It feels so good it must be sin,
With you, I feel so light,
Doing something wrong has never felt so right,
Perhaps you are right just this time,
We should let go and everything will be fine,
But don't leave me now, please don't
Cause I'm the girl you're meant to save.

Outdated poetry

I've thought about it before,
I really don't wanna let you go,
But its the way you touch me,
The way you act,
The way you kiss me,
Checking how I react,

You lured me down into your lair,
And made me never want to leave,
But now you just don't seem to care,
I'm begging you, please.

You know that i'll come back,
Cause there's nothing that you lack,
You know I'll fall back into your arms,
And fall so easily for your charms.

You've let me go,
And i'm finally free,
But it won't be long before,
I plead you to take me...

Who the hell do you think you are,
To toy with me,
to play with me,
To keep me trapped inside this jar,
to laugh at me,
to hurt me..

I should have known,
What I chose to ignore,
The signs had shown,
And now i'm dying without a cure,

I should have known,
but now it's too late,
The signs had shown,
And now I feel nothing but hate.

I'm down on my knees,
Please don't turn away,
I'm begging you please,
There must be another way,

I'm down on my knees,
I want to be held,
I'm begging you please,
Hold me..

beauty?

I just read through some of the older posts on this blog. It was weird. I felt.. umm.. oddly touched. It was as if I read something beautiful. Inexplicably sad, almost nostalgicly beautiful.
It's was .. sad.. comforting?
All I know for sure is that I wish I could share this feeling with the whole world.
Maybe I can.
Hugs, anyone? :)

Merry Christmas, Ho ho ho!

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is you
Yes, you Owen.
Naked.
In my bed.

I don’t want a lot for Christmas
there is just one thing I need
And I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree
I don’t need to hang my stocking way above the fireplace
Santa Clause won't make me happy with a toy on Christmas day
And I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Oh baby all I want for Christmas is you, you baby

Hanging by a string.

I stare into nothingness
Thinking life is so fucking meaningless
All there is to this petty game
Is who lasts the longest while keeping sane
It’s just so classic of the human race
To judge you by your outer shell and the beauty of your face
I honestly don’t give a damn about the world
Yet I’m living every breath as the idyllic girl
People say they don’t give heed to what others say
Yet coincidently change the very next day
There are sets of rules on everything you do
What happened to doing it simply since you want to?
Blindly believing we’re in control
When doing things the way it should be is taking toll.
Are we living life by genuine feelings
Or are we but puppets on strings?

Untitled

Stop staring at the ground
As if it's all that you see
Don't you dare make a sound
For once, listen to me.


I tried my best to make things fine
So look at me, look me in the eye
And tell me you were never mine
Instead of looking down and starting to cry

Nothing I do seems to be right
Everything I say seems to be a lie
All we ever do is scream and fight
Sometimes I wish that I would die

I can't hold back this burning anger
Just say a string of words, and everything's over
Should have known it would be my luck
To get stuck with a guy who doesn't give a fuck

I said look at me
I demand your attention
Don't say let things be
Without an explanation


I've given you enough space
But in return, all I ever get is pain
I wish I could scream that to your face
That you're slowly driving me insane
I'm searching for a place
On me where you haven't left a stain
There doesn't seem to be a trace
Of the real me whom you cold-bloodedly slain

There's something clawing on the inside
At this point, there's nothing to gain
If I were you I would run and hide
Things will never be the same again.

Seven White Roses

Seven white roses
Lay on my bed
Asleep
After a long journey

The prettiest white roses
I had ever seen
The same ones we spoke of
before

Couldn't see
but I knew it was there.

Tempting me.
Alluring me to embrace them
Couldn't blink for the fear
It wouldn't be there when I awoke

Had to decide
Liberate myself from the feelings of guilt
betrayal
And leave them there
To wilt

Or do what I need
What I truly wanted
Just this once
To forget and be light

Seven white roses
Lay on my bed
Asleep
After a long journey

And that is exactly where I left them.

The diamond pair.

Small
but proud
in a pair
as if mocking me

in a red box.
enveloped in brown
from the place
he was

there was once a promise
long time back
i was young
we were young

and here it was
fake
real
we had it both

It wouldn't last
the shine
they would fade
darken

It would last
not everlastingly
but it did
for some time
and that must count
It must.

He lies.. (Part 1)

He lies
he always lies
so does she
but he shows it more
she makes him lie
by putting a knife to his throat and forcing him
she's trying to be sarcastic again
she isn't trying to be, she is
she's trying to understand
he doesn't like explaining
it only makes things worse
and she said silence was golden
now embroiled in it,she is
actually he said silence was golden
she merely agreed
if she differs, she's wrong
when she does agree, she's wrong
never right, she is
he didn't say it
mean it, at least
but he said it nevertheless
and he is always let to be right?
saying things he didn't mean isn't very different from saying things he means
he's playing the game, sarcasm
again
which he learnt from her, and was pushed into using
from the few times he really listens
does she understand what going on
in his mind?
she tries
too much
he's trying to get her to give up
yes, he is
why?
think gal, think
she's done enough thinking
he agrees
didn't she always say its better not to think so much, over analyze
so? Does she listen? Really, does she?
she doesn't, she can't
but she tries anyway
he tries to spit it out
but he can't
so he does the other
an alternative, and he knows she is gonna say "the easy way out"
but he does it anyway
she's fading from his mind
she's far, far away
she's got it all wrong again
she doesn't understand anything, him
well, he isn't making it any easier, is he?
he isn't anything
as opposed to her being everything?
a stinge of sarcasm, again!
maybe?! why? who is asking?
who is involved
a sin to know?
to want to know?
all he asks is for her to wait
he needs air to breathe
thats all
not today
another light for his blight

He lies... (Part 2)

she smiles
he feels like doing the opposite
she has no reason
at least he's still here
must mean something
and she said "didn't she always say its better not to think so much, over analyse"?
from a smile to a tear
inside she cries
she's tired
tired of trying
tired of trying not to try
he's been crying too long to be able to notice
give me time
even when he sees, he turns a blind eye
and still she waits
for now, how long can she wait for something that she knows she has nothing for and nothing to do with?
maybe because she knows that over time things change
people change
hes stubborn can't she tell? of all the things
he dies trying
im sorry
he's numb
dead inside and the outside
and still she pokes him...
not pokes
gently nudges
with much care
a way with words she has, seemingly pleasant it has become
he wished it was that simple
he sincerely does
but he isnt naive like he used to be
he has grown rotten'
seemingly pleasant he says
why is it so hard for him to grasp it
maybe it's because he doesnt want to
why doesnt she?
she's afraid
cowardly she is
he salutes her,
with a gentle bow
a wink and a smile he once forgot
and says " brave u are, u are... "
she reverses with,
sarcastic he is, he is
she hurts him dearly
it gets really hard to breathe
when she does that
he doesn't understand why
well its mutual
another in common
the list is slightly more than a handful
he meant everyone he said he meant
he burns his insides and walks away
and leaves her there
alone
alone
it echoes
her being alone.